I dreamt that Mr Zachary was giving back our Multimedia Tools for Advertising final examination papers.
*i have no idea why it was Mr Zachary and not Malik*
In the dream i remembered Andy was sited next to me and he was one of those who got his paper back first....so i peered at his paper and saw his marks.
I remebered it was 79/100
Even praised him in my dream saying something like "Wahh... soo good! an A leh!"
Then another stacked of test papers were passed on to me... then i saw my paper.. with a huge score in red inks written;
39/100
I FAILED the blaaardy subject!
Though it was just a dream, i remembered feeling very very dissapointed over it and felt that it was all waste of effort for all that i've poured in. All the late night studying and doing those past year papers was not well paid afterall. I think i almost cried in my dream thinking how unfair it was that hardwork doesnt pay. I was cursing Malik like there's no tomorrow.
The first thing i did when i woke up this morning was to check my results again in the intranet to make sure i DID passed the subject.
The dream was so real i couldnt help not to double check my results status again.
I dont know why i had such dream and of all subjects it had to be Multimedia tools.
Probably because i've lost all my confidence in this subject ever since getting a considerably low marks for my group assignments.I totally lost confidence in myself.
I begin to question myself if i was afterall "that" creative as what everyone would refer me to previously.
I doubted my own creativity ever since.
Sometimes i wonder if my design was that bad and didn't deserve anything higher than what was given.
I dont mind it if he think's my design wasnt that nice and all.. but i seriously dont think some others deserved what they have obtained.
I've seen some other group's design and all which i think is of nothing special and when i say nothing special, it really means like it's NOTHING special.. But yet given higher marks. (p/s: i dont deny some deserve their marks. So dont get me wrong here)
Why the bias?
Dont understand.
Am i lacking of the "shoe polishing" skill? or i haven't seen you personally often enough?
or perhaps i'v forgotten i needed to speak BM while conversing with you?
I seriously thought i deserve better marks but who am i to judge?
Art and design afterall are something abstract. Different people see things differently.
What i thought might be a great piece of art, might just be a piece of hilarious shit to you.
Is that right?
Yes. I admit i am still mad over Malik for those marks.
I don't even wanna play the Transformers game he made me install to my laptop during class.
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